The dust is still settling on another mission trip to the orphanage in Haiti. Your emotions run high; my heart has been brought low. This is a side of our lives very few understand.
People have been talking (I’m sure you’ve overheard) about Mommy’s choice to work as a part-time missionary, while I’m busy raising you. Not everyone likes my decision to follow this call God’s placed on my life. Not everyone understands how I can manage to serve both you at home, and the children of Haiti, well. I’m here to tell you where my heart is at, though some people may never understand it. I want you to hear it from me…
I live and breathe you. You are my greatest calling; to care for and nurture, not just your bodies, but your hearts…to mold them into hearts after Jesus. I’m called to love you so much that it hurts, to give selflessly in order to equip you; lead you into the life God’s called you to. You are my greatest adventure and my wildest dream. You are pieces of my heart walking around outside my body, and nothing could ever stop me from fighting for you. I have dreamed of and longed for you since I was a child myself, and no one else will ever take your place in my heart.
My life before you was dark. Without Jesus coming to my rescue, I would not have survived it. Today, all that I do for others is the least I can do for Him. Serving my family, my friends, His children near and far…it is one small way I can give back to a God who’s never let go of me. I owe Him my life, and I will always strive to live it for His glory…because He loved me when no one else would.
Because of all that I went through before you were born, I know that the only way to find healing and deep, real joy is to open up your heart to The One who created it. This is why I do what I do. This is why our family makes the sacrifice of my time at home when I am on the mission field: The hearts of the world are hurting, longing to be noticed and cared for, just as I was when He found me. For some children, children just like you, the only chance they may have to feel that life-giving love is through us. We are His light in the darkness.
When I am away from home, my heart remains with you. Nothing can separate my soul from yours; we are intertwined in a way that distance could never impact. Yet, I know it’s hard. I know it hurts. It hurts me too. I miss you terribly and worry about little things I normally do for you when I’m at home. I cry all the way to Haiti, never wanting to be so far away from my babies. The pain can be big. Our God is bigger.
I don’t want to raise you to believe the lie that a mother is “just” a mother. Mothers are capable of so much more than they’re given credit for. It is the most important “job” in the world and, as your mother, I need you to understand that you can be my everything…and I will still have love left over. God’s love, through us, is endless. It covers our family at home, and our “family” in Haiti. It’s because I love you that I want to show you what it means to be compassionate, understanding, charitable, and open-minded. I love you enough to make you aware of the pain and suffering of the world, along with the truth that we, not only can, but need to do something about it. We can make a difference. All we need to do is step out in faith, choose love, and watch God do the rest.
Because I love you, I give you my testimony and my lessons learned. I give you my time and my strength. I give you all that I can and then a little bit more. Because I love you, I give you Jesus…and I try my best to live a life modeled after His love for the lost and the broken. I pray that you will find joy in serving others, that you will see the blessings that come from obedience and determination. The world may never understand or support you when you step out in faith. Don’t be afraid or discouraged…the reward is greater than anything this world can offer.
We never leave the mission field. It exists at home and across the world. When I see you share what you have with the needy so willingly and watch as you comfort those in pain… it fills my heart with indescribable joy.
You are my reward. I love you fiercely, no matter where He calls us.