What am I supposed to do now?
The more I learn, the less I know you. The less I believe you ever loved me.
I want to scream in your face, let you know just how broken you’ve left every part of me; how you’ve pulled the ground out from beneath me…but I’ll never see you again.
So much lost; just an empty space filled with silent screams. Peace slipped out the door and now all I do is chase it, longing for memories of you to disappear. What felt like connection was just a sugar-coated lie. The truth is blackness, seeping in. You were supposed to protect me. Now I see that all I needed was protection from you.
I said goodbye; mourned and cried over an image of you that’s been shattered. Reality tore apart the truth I clung to; the truth that was never truth at all. Your lies and betrayal just get deeper and darker; I get sick at the thought of you being any part of what knits me together.
When you died, I thought I’d lost a part of myself. Turns out, I don’t know who I am…because of the monster you were.
What am I supposed to do now, Dad?